


Invisible Stars

by SimplySaraD



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, F/M, One Shot, y/n
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-21
Updated: 2013-12-21
Packaged: 2018-01-05 08:50:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1091974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SimplySaraD/pseuds/SimplySaraD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A vague semi angsty one shot about not wanting to be alone</p>
            </blockquote>





	Invisible Stars

The whole night you had tried your best to keep the smile plastered across your face. You fought every urge with in you to break down into sobs and screams. Harry had taken you out on the town and you had a good time but for the entirety of the evening you watched him with a heavy heart. You knew that you loved him. It had been years that you’d known each other and time had only caused your feelings to grow. But you also knew that he didn’t see you that way. So you pressed on, forcing yourself into time with him where you couldn’t tell him how badly you wanted to be with him.

After hugging Harry goodbye you trudged up to your flat alone, his scent still dancing in your nostrils, taunting you with what could never be yours. The door to your flat clicked shut behind you as you kicked off your heels trying to become comfortable in your own skin. But that’s what Harry did to you. He made you doubt everything about yourself. In the bathroom you held yourself up with hands on each side of the sink to stare into your own reflection. Your eyes were blank because they couldn’t bring themselves to shed the tears that sat in waiting within you. You proceeded to remove your make up and dress as you prepared yourself for yet another night alone.

Your bed felt much too large as you pulled the covers over your body. Squeezing your eyes closed you imagined him lying next to you, staring into your eyes, and holding you close to him. If you tried hard enough you could hear his breathing but if you for a second opened your eyes reality would pull you back in as you gazed at the emptiness beside you. Most nights you’d fall asleep with thoughts of a life with Harry rushing through your mind, part of you hoping that he could want the same thing.

You’d never had the courage to tell him how you felt because why would you subject yourself to that. He could have any girl he wanted, why would he ever want you? Even though it hurt more than anything, you had accepted that you’d never be more than a friend to him. That night was especially difficult as you watched him across the dinner table, laughing with your other friends. You had memorised each dimple in his cheeks and each curl on his head but you never grew tired of just watching him. Every so often he’d catch you staring and if only for a moment hold eye contact with you. This made your heart stop for the duration of the gaze and you felt like you could vomit right there. But he’d look away again and you were once again lost in his actions.

You rolled to your back to stare at the ceiling, finding yourself unable to sleep. Thoughts racing through your mind. A few about your work or your family but they always circled back to harry. After hours passed of you rolling around in bed trying to quiet your mind you chose to give up on sleep. You gathered your comforter over your shoulders and pulled yourself out of bed. You then found yourself walking onto your balcony. You were a few stories up but you could still make out perfectly each detail of the street below you. The city air carried the sounds of cars and memories, wafting the mixture of scents around you into your nose.

Sat in a chair on the balcony, you watched the street below as you had many nights before. You’d let your comforter fall off your shoulders and could feel the cool night breeze on your skin. Choosing to stand against the rail you removed the comforter from around the rest of your body leaving only your pyjamas between you and cold air. The metal of the railing was cool against the skin of your hands as you held onto it. Now you found yourself looking up at the sky. The lights of the city hindered your ability to actually see the stars but you knew they were there. You found yourself wondering if Harry too was looking up at the same orange sky, thinking about the invisible stars.

Though you often found yourself studying Harry you didn’t know much about the inner workings of his mind. You never knew about his own sleepless nights and how he handled them. At least not until that night.

As you rolled your head back down to watch the street again you noticed someone walking along the pavement. His hands in the pockets of a large coat, his hair blowing in the wind. His thin legs carried him forward as he looked around him. You thought at first that it must have been your own lack of sleep as you watched this all too familiar figure below you. But as he continued walking you couldn’t help but believe the sight.

Harry’s eyes scanned the buildings about him as if he was searching for something that he wasn’t sure would be there. Still a ways down the walk you noticed his head turned firmly in your direction as if he’d singled out that area, still searching. At this point your heart was racing and you had to be sure that your arms were still holding the railing in order for you to not fall from the weakness in your legs.

Perhaps you were dreaming and that caused this specter to travel to your avenue and watch your building. He had to be a ghost because you knew that the real thing could never be there.

After what felt like ages of watching Harry make his way down the street, he stopped frozen in his path. His eyes were trained to your balcony but had not yet found your own. You had to look away because you couldn’t bring yourself to see his face at the moment but once you turned once again to the street your eyes were locked onto his green ones.

Once again your heart stopped and you almost felt sick while remaining caught in his gaze. Maintaining eye contact with you Harry moved slowly to stand just below you on the street. You didn’t speak nor did he. You weren’t sure if you would have been able. But he smiled at you like he had finally found what he had been searching for. Still holding his eye you felt your own fill with tears. This was cruel of your mind to bring upon you. How could you do this to yourself? Hallucinating the man that you dreamed about outside of your flat during the small hours of the night. You couldn’t even blink to wash the tears away because you knew that if you did he would be gone.

You could’ve stood there for hours with him looking into you but eventually one of you had to move. It hadn’t been you because you chose to freeze yourself into that moment of time. Harry took a few hesitant steps before breaking eye contact. The second he did you fell to the ground in sobs as you watched him continue walking. You had closed your eyes trying to hold back tears so you didn’t see him wander out of view. Once you re-opened your eyes your vision was clouded and you didn’t know what to make of the once again empty street below you.

You pressed your head against a pole before you still shaking in tears. Each of your hands had come to hold their own metal rod and you sat there like a prisoner in a jail cell watching through the bars. You knew then that it had all been a figment of your own cruel imagination. Harry had never been there looking for you and you hated yourself for believing even for a second that he had been.

From the balcony you could barely hear the sound at your front door. It took everything in you to stand up and walk to it. With some semblance of composure you reached a shaky hand for the knob and held it there for a moment as you only then wondered who was on the other side. Reluctantly you pulled open the door before you, looking at the ground all the while because you didn’t want anyone to see your face at the time.

At the sight of his shoes you looked up without a second thought. There stood the former specter leaning against your door frame, his eyebrows knitted together like he’d been in pain. You had stopped breathing and your head started to spin but you still reached out to him. To your own surprise you actually caught him. You didn’t wipe your hand through air as you’d suspected. He was actually there. Without waiting a moment longer you pulled him into you. Your breathing immediately synchronised once the two of you shared the embrace.

He pulled away first and you hated the feeling of the air against your skin where he’d once been. Once again his eyes found yours, now in much closer proximity. He placed his hands on either side of your head and you shuddered at how cold they were from having been outside. You didn’t protest as he guided you toward him and finally placed his lips against yours.

He hadn’t gone out that night with the intent of doing this. It was what he had done every time he couldn’t sleep. He’d find himself walking down your avenue looking at your flat wondering if you were inside. He never expected to see you the same way you never expected to see him but that night those invisible stars had aligned in such a way that let this all happen.

You stood there for what felt like a lifetime with your lips pressed against his. Neither of you ever wanted to let go. However once you had, you let him into your flat without having to ask if he wanted to stay. You finally had him and you weren’t about to let him leave so you always kept a hand on him, always touching him, hoping he wouldn’t fade away. And he never did. He stayed with you that night, falling asleep next to you in the once all too empty bed. 


End file.
